The Secret to Thriving as a Leader.
Some years ago, I took an executive job in a location away from my home. Foolishly, I figured I could manage everything, including the relocation, by myself.
I thought I had it nailed. In a month (and just before Christmas), I started a new job, found accommodation, and prepared for an overseas trip.
But eight weeks later, I was burned out, frazzled, and regretful. My self-talk was all criticism. My inner voice said I wasn't suitable for the job and that I should resign, embarrassed and defeated.
I told myself I wasn't worthy of having this life as an executive leader. Who was I kidding, thinking I could do this?
I am sharing this with you because I know leadership can be incredibly lonely, especially in the early days of a role.
Because I don't want you or anyone else to experience such feelings, in this Letter, I'll reveal how my clients found perseverance was possible when they connected with others.
Angela Duckworth believes talent is overrated. In her revolutionary book Grit, she shows perseverance and determination as more important than talent alone. Endurance, resolve, and purpose are the keys to leading well; it's not just your talent or what you've studied.
Leaders who connect with other people lead better. Connection with other leaders creates growth. Networking with purpose reduces loneliness and opens up opportunity. Great leaders enjoy their networks and seek only a small number of people. They find the right tribe for the purpose at hand.
If you want to lead without loneliness, you need to get connected.
It's even more important if, like me, you consider yourself introverted. If you feel you are too shy or reserved to be a great C-suite professional, think again.
Various experts, including Susan Cain, an American academic, have disproven this belief. Cain is the author of Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking and Quiet Power: The secret strengths of introverts.
Her books have benefitted many of my clients. They have learned to use introversion to create what Cain describes as executive presence. Cain's work has changed many people’s beliefs about themselves and how they fit in a noisy world.
Here's a technique to help you get connected fast and without the angst.
Make a list of the leaders you can call on for support and morale building. These are the people who have your back and will help you maintain your positive inner voice.
List at least five people, including former managers, people who chair networks you belong to - leaders you admire and know well enough to invite for a conversation over coffee (even if it’s virtual).
When you have five names, write why you chose them and what they represent to you. There will be clues about what you value in leadership and the things you wish to emulate in your style.
As hard as this might seem, you can come up with five names. If not, humour me and write just three.
Don't push back and think people won't want to support you.
You'll be surprised at how generous and giving people are when you are a new leader.
Remember, we have all been there ourselves - and we are here to help.
