Stop Telling Leaders to Be Resilient: Here's a Better Way.

Stop telling leaders to be resilient. Enough, already.

And if you're a leader defining yourself in this way – maybe you're part of the problem.

Words used to describe leaders are many and varied. People define you as stoic, resilient, sturdy, reliable, and unflappable.

The general rule is that good leaders are not phased by much. They cope with disasters and manage under extreme circumstances.

But let's not paint an unrealistic picture. These traits don't emerge every minute of the day –not every time there's a crisis, like some magical super-power.

Stop defining leaders like this. Leaders are humans – with leadership responsibilities.

People are fatigued, tetchy, and anxious about world affairs and the economy. Your team expects you to find the green shoots and positive stories. They want to feel hopeful.

They are more likely to be quick to anger, denial, frustration, despair, and fatigue –like during the pandemic.

What does that mean for you, trying to hold it all together?

Compassion fatigue, confusion, exhaustion, and more.

You can't get our work done. You tire out. You might feel a false sense of boredom.

You might reinforce negative views about yourself. "What's wrong with me?" "Why can't I get past this?"

Your mind plays over and over on repeat – "cut the crap, and get on with solving the problem at hand".

Traditionally, you've been told that you need to practice:

• Acceptance

• Expect less of yourself

• Allow all your varied emotions

• Reframe your thinking

• Do things that bring you joy

• Maintain significant relationships.

All of the above is useful. Don't stop.

I have another suggestion.

Take time out.

Make time for a holiday or go on a leadership retreat simply to THINK – time is what you need right now.

And this is where I add my qualifier for the term resilience.

There's nothing wrong with the word – it's the definition we have bungled.

Resilience isn't about endurance – it's all about how you recharge.

Sustain yourself successfully for whatever is coming next. It is a critical time to practice self-regard and self-care.

Break the monotony.

Take a deep breath and plan your break.

You're welcome.